Facetious Stupidery

Jacques was talking, Mathieu looked at him, it was all so tedious, the bureau in the half-light, the snatches of band-music from beyond the pines, the curls of butter in the little dish, the empty bowls on the tray: so futile an eternity. He too wanted to speak: not to say anything in particular, but merely to break that eternal silence on which his brother’s voice made no impression. And he said: ‘Don’t worry. War, or peace – it’s all the same.’

‘All the same?’ said Jacques in astonishment. ‘Go and tell that to the millions of men who are preparing to be killed.’

‘And what then?’ said Mathieu genially. ‘They have carried their death within them since the day they were born. And even if they are massacred to a man, humanity will still be up to strength: not an empty place, not one person missing.’

‘Except for the loss of twelve to fifteen millions,’ said Jacques.

‘It isn’t a question of numbers,’ said Mathieu. ‘Humanity replenishes itself, none are missed and none awaited. Humanity will continue on its futile journey, the usual people will ask themselves the usual questions, and wreck their lives in the usual way.’

Jacques eyed him with a knowing smile.

‘And what does it all come to?’

‘Well, just to nothing,’ said Mathieu.

[Jean-Paul Sartre, ‘The Reprieve’]

So I got my internship of choice, Colorado State Univ. Woohoo! How nice. All my machinations, planning, and resume-padding has finally bore recognizable fruit. I speculate that the biggest thing that sets me apart from most other veterinary students is the computer background.  It’s like the dead-sick-dying-parent/debilitating-disease/other-horrible-life-circumstance that most high school seniors wish they had when writing their undergraduate college application essay.  You can always bring it out to show how you’ve triumphed over adversity.  Still, there comes with it a kind of rote-responsiveness from it*:

Q: Describe an experience that changed you.
A: Dying parent.

Q:What was the most challenging thing you’ve had to deal with?
A: Dying parent.

Q:What qualifies you to be a competitive and successful student at our university?
A:Dying parent.

In the same way, I’m getting tired of constantly leveraging my computer background in order to stand out from the rabble.  Is there nothing more to me?  Are there no other salient features?  I guess not.

* To say nothing of how using such adversity-overcoming experiences are then cheapened and ultimately subverted from life-transformation to a mere job/college-interview-fodder.

Thomas Life, Culture, Society, Vet School/Animals

I’m on an overnight shift tonight in the barn, so I can do a little writing in between treatments.  Having no internet at home really cuts down on how much I blog (as can be evidenced by the severe lack of entries for the past 2 or so years).  I feel rusty about writing and there are times, when I’m sitting in my tv-less, internet-less home when I feel the urge to put fingers to keyboard, but of course, there’s nothing.  I suppose I could just type it up and save, but that lacks the thrill of being able to publish at the time.  I’m an Amercian!  I need instant gratification!  We are living in the era of status-updates and twitters where writing is confined to solipsistic one-liners about “What are you doing now?” or “25 random facts about you I couldn’t care less about”.  YAWN.  About the only thing I write these days are discharge instructions and medical records type crap – i.e. STUFF NOT ABOUT ME.  This blog is meant to offset this terrible imbalance and for too long I’ve left it languish.

…

Today is March 2nd, and at 8AM EST I will discover where (if anywhere) I’m going to go for a year long internship.  I’ve already posted my choices in an earlier entry and at this point (2AM, March 2nd) I’m sort of ambivalent about how I really feel about the whole affair.  There’s an aspect of excitement, about finally going some place new, but also there’s a feeling of dread.  Thinking on the numbers of how so so many students are applying for internships and the few that are out there that I want, it seems rather unlikely that I’ll get my top choice.  Really, my preference is binomial – there’s CSU and then there’s everything else.  CSU is nice because it’s the closest I can get to California while still having opportunities to be in a place that has a good ophthalmology program.  Also, it’s only an hour away from Denver which has direct flights to pretty much anywhere (not that I’ll be doing too much traveling).  My other choices are just all over the place, but mostly on the east coast and probably just fine in terms of ophthalmology just not geography. 

It seems silly to worry about geography for just one measly year, but there’s always a possibility of going back to where ever I do my internship for more training (e.g. residency) or work or whatever.  Naturally it’s easier to do so after connections have been made and people met.

There’s going to be a lot of buzz tomorrow after the match is complete.  People’s futures will be more or less decided and it’ll be interesting to see how everyone will do.  I myself, after finding out where I’m going, am looking forward to a nice long nap, followed by a peaceful day of errand-running.

Thomas Life, Culture, Society, Vet School/Animals